Being a single mother or a single father may
seem to amplify the “traps” listed below but it doesn’t have to! Even if you
find yourself currently falling into one of these traps, taking your position
in Christ immediately against each one is a major step towards recovery and
redemption. Now Read The Top 10 Dangerous Traps Single Parents Fall Into.
1.
Anger
If left unattended,
anger, bitterness, or resentment can and will manifest itself inside of us and
eventually consume us. Remember: a wound will only become infected if it is
left untreated. Being able to completely forgive and nail it to the cross is
where victory begins.
2.
Loss of Identity
Single parenting brings in
brokenness, regardless of how we got there. We feel a loss of who we are as an
individual, a parent, significant other, provider, and perhaps even as a
Christian. Finding our identity in our eternal value is key.
3.
Jealousy
God warned us in the
Ten Commandments about the dangers of coveting, and Hebrews 12
describes how sin can so easily entangle us. Any time we are taking our eyes
off of Christ and looking elsewhere, we are putting ourselves and our families
in danger. Be wary of jealousy towards someone else’s life, possessions, or
situation.
4.
Depression
If not addressed early,
this can lead to more serious and dangerous behaviors such as isolation,
addictions, and risky actions. Reach out to someone quickly if you are feeling
depressed -- men, this means us too! Catching the symptoms of depression early
on can potentially save someone from deadly consequences.
5.
Sexual Immorality
We’ve heard it said
that loneliness can be the devil’s playground, how true we make that sometimes!
Being single (and broken) in a sexually-fallen world is a major uphill
struggle. The promise of “harmless” and “safe” sex is only a few pages or a
click away. But be on guard of someone who does not have your heart or
best interest in mind.
6.
Competition with the Other Parent
Trying to out-do the
other parent, keeping score against them, or being the “fun” parent all pull
your eyes off of your God-given responsibilities to properly raise your
children and onto your own selfishness instead. Despite what may be going on in
the other home, don’t fall into this trap where the children usually become the
biggest casualties.
7.
Not Recognizing Your Significance
Single parenthood
distorts the family structure by unfairly forcing one person to inherit the
responsibilities of the other. Subsequently, a single parent can often feel
inferior and ill-equipped to fill these roles. Though it may seem like a lost
cause at times, know that God has given us all the ability to raise our
children into healthy adults. Your children need you, press into Him and rise
to the calling!
8.
Stress
If it takes a village
to raise a child, then how in the world can we expect to do so when living on
an island? Stress piles up and when we are tired, the enemy can really get a
foothold. Whatever it takes, don’t allow the lies and worries of life to
overcome loving on your children.
9.
Mismanagement of Time
All of the traps
mentioned above can be summarized in this way: allowing other people,
situations, and trials to distract us from giving our children their proper
time. Yes, we need downtime of our own, but please never forget why we do what
we do as parents: to give our children the love and attention they so
desperately need from us.
10.
Failure to Lead
“Leading” our children
comes in a variety of ways, but it all flows from leading them in Christ. Dads,
God has given us the specific task of raising our sons and daughters in Him
whether we are single or not (Ephesians 6:4).
And single moms, don’t worry. Paul’s protégé Timothy is a perfect example of
how a believing mother can raise her child for God’s glory (Acts 16:1,
2 Timothy 1:5,
3:15).
The single mother or
single father who has the ability to overcome all of these traps will find it
leads to healthier parent-child relationships. When accompanied with a strong
walk with Christ, this leaves a legacy that can have multi-generational impact,
taking what was once shattered beyond repair and turning it into a foundation
that can never be broken again.
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